We communicate, but we don't feel understood.
One of us wants to talk and the other shuts down.
We have the same fight over and over.
Trust has been damaged and we don't know how to rebuild it.
We love each other, but we don't feel connected anymore.
Parenting, careers, finances or family stress have taken over our relationship.
We're questioning whether we should stay together.
Nothing is wrong, but we don't want to keep drifting apart.
In couples therapy, we don't approach your relationship as though one person is the problem. Instead, we'll look at the patterns that have developed between you and what triggers them, how each of you protects yourselves when you feel hurt or disconnected, and how those reactions can unintentionally create more of the very thing you're trying to avoid.
Using approaches such as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Internal Family Systems (IFS), we'll work beneath the surface of communication to better understand the emotions, needs, fears and protective responses driving the cycle.
Instead of:
"Why won't you ever talk to me?"
You may discover:
"When you go quiet, I start wondering whether I matter to you."
And instead of:
"Nothing I do is ever good enough for you."
You may discover:
"When I feel like I'm disappointing you, I shut down because I don't know how to fix it."
You don't need to arrive knowing exactly what to say, and you don't need to convince your partner, or therapist, that you're right. In therapy, the therapist's role isn't to determine who is the problem or take sides. There are no bad people, only problems that exist between people. Problems that can be solved, together. Our job is to help both partners understand what is happening in your relationship and create a space where each person's experience can be understood.
We work with a range of clients who are experiencing a multitude of experiences.
That's okay.
You don't have to believe therapy is going to fix everything.
You don't have to know what you want your relationship to look like.
And you don't have to walk into the first session ready to share your deepest feelings.
You just have to be willing to show up and get curious about what's happening between you.
Couples therapy isn't simply showing up once a week to talk about whatever went wrong since your last appointment. While we will absolutely make space for what's happening in your relationship right now, our work will also follow the patterns, emotions, and experiences that are keeping you stuck.
The first few sessions are about understanding your relationship, not deciding who is right. We'll talk about what brought you to therapy, the history of your relationship, your family history, the challenges you're experiencing now, and what each of you hopes will be different. We'll also begin identifying the cycle that tends to take over when you feel hurt, frustrated, disconnected, or misunderstood. There may be times early in the process when your therapist meets individually with each partner as part of getting to know you and understanding the larger picture. Couples therapy, however, remains focused on the relationship and the goals we've established together.
Most couples begin therapy weekly. Relationships develop patterns over time, and meeting consistently in the beginning helps us build momentum, understand those patterns, and begin practicing a different way of responding to one another. As things begin to change and you feel more confident using what you're learning outside of therapy, sessions may gradually become less frequent. The goal isn't to keep you in therapy indefinitely. The goal is to help you create changes that begin happening between sessions, where your relationship actually lives.
There isn't one timeline that fits every relationship. Some couples come in with a specific concern they want to address, while others are working through patterns or injuries that have developed over many years. We'll regularly talk about your progress, what's changing outside of therapy, and whether the frequency of sessions still makes sense.
Ultimately, successful couples therapy isn't measured by how long you stay. It's measured by whether you begin having the conversations, understanding, and connection at home that you once needed the therapy room to help you create.
Sometimes the first step is simply having a different conversation than the ones you've been having at home. If you're wondering whether couples therapy might be right for your relationship, we offer a complimentary consultation where we can talk about what's happening, what you're looking for, and whether we may be a good fit for you.
There is no risk or cost to schedule a consultation. It's a great way to find out if we offer the help your relationship needs. If you find we're not a fit, we can offer a list of referrals and resources.
Couples therapy has a gross billing rate of $150 for a 90-minutea session. Each clinician has the ability to reduce this fee based on financial need. Although some insurance plans may be eligible for billing. It is important to understand that insurance coverage for couples and family therapy can be limited. Many insurance plans require services to be considered medically necessary and connected to a qualifying mental health diagnosis for an identified patient. Relationship concerns alone may not meet an insurance plan's requirements for coverage resulting in a client paying out of pocket for their services.
For some clients, self-pay provides the flexibility to focus on the relationship, family system, or concerns that brought you to therapy without treatment being determined by insurance coverage requirements or one individual receiving a mental health diagnosis in their medical records.
We are happy to provide a superbill for clients who would like to request out-of-network reimbursement from their insurance provider. Because benefits vary by plan, clients are encouraged to contact their insurance company directly to determine eligibility and reimbursement.
HSA/FSA cards are accepted forms of payment.
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